Helping Children Cope With Conflict

Fights don’t solve problems; the earlier your child learned this, the better for all parties involved. Fights only aggravate situations. Indeed, walking away from a fight takes more courage than standing to face the fight. If you want your child to grow up a courageous person then it’s advisable to instill this into him/her. It’s not like they should never get mad, but kids have to be reminded that whenever they do get mad but opt not to fight, they have already won the battle!

It’s only natural to get mad; it happens to everybody. It’s just hard to get along with some kids; whenever they get angry they want to fight; they encourage others to fight; they enjoy teasing the others; it’s just who they are. What’s worse is that anger, while it doesn’t last for very long, is usually a very strong feeling. A child can get angry when;

 – People say things that are not true about them

– Others don’t do things as they would have liked

– Other kids hurt their feelings

What happens when a child is angry? Depending on individual traits, children react to anger differently. Just like it’s already mentioned, some will fight at the earlier opportunity; some can keep quiet and absorb the anger while many prefer to report it to their parents. 3 things are known to cause all these reactions;

– Kids experience faster heartbeats with hot, sweaty faces

– They are unable to breathe well

– In most cases they also cannot think clearly

– They experience a surge in their energy levels which makes them want to take action

When all these happen, a child who has not been taught to take control of his/her emotions almost certainly gives in to the temptation. It’s good to teach your children to put their feelings into words instead of breaking things or saying things that hurt. They could ACT CALM by;

When they get mad

  •  Acknowledging their feelings and body changes
  •  Calm down- punching a pillow, breathing deeply, run or listen to some music
  •  Thinks and talk to someone close about their feeling

Or when someone engages them in a fight

  •  Clam down by keeping a safe distance from the opponent, being alert and standing tall
  •  Avoid the fight by talking to the opponent in private
  •  Listen to what the other kid has to say
  •  Move on from the fight. Get a humorous way to solve the problem without fighting.